Life is expensive, and there’s not enough time in the day. After the buying the essentials and fulfilling our obligations, there's not much left for us. We save money and time by cutting corners on ourselves, our needs and passions.

You know the feeling, like wearing the same ratty underwear years past their prime because buying new ones feels “excessive” or like an “unneeded expense”. How about skipping your favorite yoga class because a friend needed a favor? We label our needs as wants, and in that way we justify skimping on ourselves.

Meanwhile, we rarely act sparingly with others. Most of us have been brought up to be generous with our time and resources, and I am here to suggest tipping the needle back toward yourself. Not to selfishness of course, but to treating yourself how you treat others. My golden rule.

If I buy my spouse a gift on their birthday, why don't I get myself that book I've been really wanting on mine? I would carve out time in a busy week to help a friend. Why not find an hour of alone time to work on a project or do something that makes me happy?

Thinking this way can be hard at first. My advice is to start making this shift with things you need. Buy the fresh underwear or socks, replace the chipped dishes in the cupboard, or buy the extra charger you need because your kids keep “borrowing” yours. Start with one thing - know that you need it, feel no guilt about buying it, and enjoy having it. You deserve it. You wouldn't withhold this need from someone else, so why withhold it from yourself?

Once you've taken this approach with your needs, you can give your wants some attention. You've been wanting to hike more, but your aging knees require you to have hiking poles. Get them so you can pursue something you want to do. Find them second hand if you can, then gift yourself time to hike. You've been wanting to get back into playing the drums. Start with a couple of drumsticks and a practice pad. Play 15 minutes a day along to your favorite songs. Over time, if you have as much fun as you thought you would, add to your set. The point is, you deserve it, and you don't have to spend a lot to show yourself the love you show others.

As you’ll notice, I’m not pushing for consumerism here, I am pushing for allowing yourself the budget for your passions and the time to pursue them. When penny pinching, these “extras” are often the first to go when they don’t have to be. There are ways to pursue our passions with limited financial commitment. Utilize your local Recreation Center for discounted classes, borrow tools for a project, browse craigslist for free equipment. 

Regardless of how much money you spend, you still need to adopt the attitude of being worth it. Because again, more than the money you allot, the time you put into treating yourself well goes even further toward your happiness. 

Next time you are tempted to skimp on yourself, pause and ask, am I treating myself as generously as I would treat others? Over time, you will be able to prioritize yourself and find balance in caring for yourself and others.